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Planting new seeds

Within days of returning home from Portugal, I found lettuce seeds from last summer. I felt the need to plant them, to see something new grow. I put the little seeds in a pot inside my sunny kitchen, watered them and waited. Today a few weeks later, they are out of the ground. Slowly growing, coming to life. Seeing them transform, getting a little taller and stronger every day makes me happy.

In my 30’s I had periods where I felt incredibly stuck. Whether it was in jobs, relationships, the day-to-day, my health, my goals, my yoga practice, etc, etc. All of these internal ups and downs. In January 2020 I was 40 years old and felt overwhelmed, unfulfilled and a little broken. I finished back-to-back meetings and couldn’t breath. I called a dear friend to come into my office because I was frozen. Then I balled my eyes out. I told her I couldn’t do this anymore. This happened over three years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. The feelings of helplessness I had and the weeks (months, years) leading to this breaking point. Recognizing something needed to change. I was unhappy and it was affecting my life.

I began formulating a plan, with my usual tight grip of control over it. There were some things that needed to change for sure. Yet, I was too afraid to flip my life around too much. I loved a steady paycheck and financial security. I loved having (or saying I had) a successful career and great title. I needed to be cautious, safe. My mind (and tears) were screaming to do something, to get unstuck. Still I didn’t want to be too bold. I thought I’ll take a few months break, travel a bit, then go back to my corporate career in marketing. Return to the stability and recognition I craved. A risk, but not too big because that was scary.

The universe is funny though and had other plans for me. March 2020 hit and I couldn’t leave the country. Talk about feeling even more stuck! Then I learned my job was ending in October. There goes the coveted paycheck. So I started to plant new seeds. I let new ideas come into focus, new possibilities. I kept replanting and replanting. Some seeds never grew and some are still taking shape. I reconnected to my core values. I didn’t give up. A lot of reframing needed to happen and a lot of getting uncomfortable with the unknown. All pieces of my own “gardening” story.

Planting seeds is about new possibilities. Seeing something transform from a tiny speck that with time and care becomes alive and beautiful. My journey is unique to me. I constantly replant and weed things out. You have your own story to plant. What does your ideal life garden look like?

  • Get clear on what you want to grow, what changes you want to make

  • Acknowledge external obstacles and internal limiting beliefs plus ways to ensure they don’t impede growth

  • Start small and be intentional with what you want to happen

  • Water your seeds with consistency, patience and self love

  • Celebrate your harvest, the small and big accomplishments

Gardening takes resilience. Have you tried something new and given up because results didn’t come immediately? I know I have! Or gotten derailed from your goals because things went in a different direction than the plan? Welcome to life!

When I planted my lettuce seeds a few weeks ago, I knew some would never rise from the dirt. Some would sprout then wilt. Still most are flourishing in the sunshine, as long as I keep watering them. Our intentions for growth, change and action are the same. I continually tell myself to keep planting and nurturing because many things take time to bloom.

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