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Moving beyond resistance

Why do we resist things that would benefit us? Stay stuck for periods of time in energies that don't serve us? Or never begin what we genuinely want to do, or can't seem to finish?

We often resist things to feel safe. There might be things we want to change or try differently. Yet they come with the unknown, and the unknown breeds fear. It may feel more comfortable to remain where you are, even if you not fulfilled or content, because it's certain. Sometimes, this decision is conscious, and sometimes not. We often question ourselves: "Who am I to do or be something different?" Especially when it contradicts what we've been conditioned to believe our whole lives or have grown accustomed to accepting about ourselves. The potential outcome could be so great it contradicts our identity - and that's uncomfortable! These core negative beliefs, the yucky stories we tell ourselves, can accompany us from cradle to grave. They often boil down to feelings of not being enough (smart enough, successful enough, pretty enough, young enough, experienced enough, rich enough, etc). News flash - none of these stories need to be true.

Resistance is friends with fear and uncertainty. Waiting to be "ready", only to never start? Another news flash - you don't need to know everything to do something. We can just begin, even if we don't know the ending. How we got to where we are today won't get us to where we want to go. We may doubt, overthink, ruminate - also great friends of resistance. Recognize that this exists in all of us and please don't judge yourself for it.

The core negative beliefs about what you think you deserve can hold you back. The fear and uncertainty can sabotage your growth and happiness. You do have agency though! There are ways move through resistance.

  • Get curious and notice the signs of resistance in your body and mind. Whether it's a tightness in the chest, fists, shoulders or a mental clenching, our bodies serve as invaluable guides in navigating the challenges we face.

  • Question the resistance. Dig deep while bringing a gentle level of self-awareness to the situation.

    • What are some ways you feel stuck right now?

    • What are the emotions?

    • How can you challenge if this a story you tell yourself or is it true?

  • Define it and note that this is where you are now. That doesn’t mean it is where you need to stay.

  • Can you reframe to a more resonant perspective? Start telling yourself different stories to raise your worthiness and deservedness.

  • Surround yourself with people who lift you up, inspire and support you to aim higher.

You have the ability to choose differently. Will this happen overnight? Probably not. Trust the process and with more awareness, honesty, vulnerability, we can shift thought patterns and actions. Loosening the grip of resistance and allow ourselves the freedom to breathe and move forward. The end result doesn’t need to be transforming your entire life. It isn’t about becoming a new person. It is more important to learn about yourself, and grow.

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